Life on this here Wednesday

Ping ping ping ping...ping ping ping ping...Pingu! Pingu!


Yep, that's what Harriet is singing over and over again right now.  According to her, Pingu is the absolute bomb.  She started loving Pingu when she was 10-months-old back in Jerseyville, and her affections have continued without decrease.  How she can tolerate a crazy little claymation penguin speaking jibberish for days on end, I do not know.

(Hey, it's way better than Wow, Wow, Wubsy.)

We decided to cancel Netflix this week because we already have several episodes of Shaun the Sheep on DVD, and Pingu has recently been added to Amazon Prime's free instant movies.  We figured that since Amazon Prime movies can now be viewed through the XBox and since they have just as many choices (if not more) as Netflix, we would save $10 a month.  We can use that money to rent movies from Amazon, if we so desire.  Or we could grab some Runza and go park somewhere and read Post Captain.  


Harriet is watching said Pingu because she did not take a nap today and some quiet time is in order.


Here is Edmund at fifteen weeks:

And here is Harriet at fifteen weeks:

They look a lot alike.  (Except that Harriet's eyes are buggier.)  That's because they look like this guy:

What's going to happen when I have a kid that looks like me?  I'll probably just sit and stare at him/her because it will be so insanely odd.

In other random news, I do not suggest making chocolate mousse with an almost-two-year-old helper.

Whoops.  Pingu is over.  Time to be an attentive mommy.

Ramblings about Quiet

As mentioned in my previous post, I just finished reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.  I enjoyed it so very much that I kept calling Mom to share my latest discoveries...and I really don't want to take it back to the library.  I know that this book as made the rounds of blogs and LiveJournals, but I want to jot down some of the sections that really meant a lot to me.  (It's safe to say that I gleaned something out of each well-written chapter, but why write out the entire book?  Go read it yourself!)

 First off, I loved how the author chose to define introversion and extroversion based on an individual's tolerance of social and sensory stimulation.  Being introverted doesn't mean that you don't like people, or that you hate going to parties, or that you would always rather be reading a book.  It does mean, however, that you have a lower tolerance for social and sensory stimulation - so going to a party or hanging out with a bunch of loud people might make you feel mentally "fried."  This is so characteristic of my growing up in a large and loud family: I just physically couldn't take it after a while.  I would have to go to my room and sit in the quiet before I could interact without feeling completely frazzled.  The same thing happens nearly every day as I parent Harriet.  Because I'm introverted, the constant go-go-go of parenting Harriet, her constant conversation and need for interaction seriously grates on my nerves after a while.  This doesn't mean that I don't like parenting or that Harriet is obnoxious.  It's just that the stimulation is too much.

Introverts...may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas.  They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family.  They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation.  They tend to dislike conflict.  Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions. (p.11)

 I have often felt guilty because I can honestly say that hanging out with people in groups is not my idea of a relaxing time.  Take MOPS for example.  It's touted as being this place to re-charge with your girlfriends and get away from the kids.  That's great...if you can feel recharged after attending.  I don't.  I feel tired and like I want snuggle up with a book.  That's the introverted aspect of my personality saying, "HEY!  Too much stimulation!  Time to regroup!"  Does that mean that I don't go to MOPS?  No.  Does that mean that I don't like people?  No. I like getting to know the other moms in one-on-one conversations.  Do I need to feel guilty because I don't get re-charged from social situations?  Certainly not.  

Introverts prefer to work independently, and solitude can be a catalyst to innovation. (p. 74)

This is so true of me.  I totally prefer to work alone on a project, primarily because I'm able to completely focus all of my creative energy to the task at hand.

The chapter on highly sensitive introverted personalities (I consider myself to be in this sub-category) was particularly interesting.

The other thing Aron found about sensitive people is that sometimes they're empathic.  It's as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world.  They tend to have unusually strong consciences.  They avoid violent movies and TV shows; they're acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior.  In social settings they often focus on subjects like personal problems, which others consider to be too heavy.

YES!  The whole part about skipping violent movies and TV shows makes complete sense now.  Some people just aren't as sensitive to them - and that doesn't make them horrible people, just like avoiding violence doesn't make me a wuss.  It's just a different personality make-up.

In most settings, people use small talk as a way of relaxing into a new relationship, and only once their comfortable do they connect more seriously.  Sensitive people seem to do the reverse.  They "enjoy small talk only after they've gone deep," says Strickland.  "When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chit-chat just as much as anyone else.

 One big hearty AMEN for that paragraph, thank you very much.  As I read this, I though, "Aha!  This is why Steve and I got along so well with long-distance dating!"  Because we are both introverts, it worked so very well for us to express ourselves in writing and, in doing so, to be able to jump right in to really deep topics without the pressure of being face-to-face (our first email exchange dealt with the Christian's attitude towards alcohol...no small talk there).  With a foundation of deep subjects under us, I felt very comfortable making lighter conversation with him as the relationship developed.

This dynamic is the same for each person that I would consider part of my circle of close friends.  After initial introductions, I was eager to move deeper and connect with them on a meaningful level.  It was only after this occurred that I felt comfortable being chatty or silly around them.

The final chapters of the book discuss when an introvert should stretch the elastic of their personality type and venture into more extroverted realms.  I appreciated her idea of setting personal goals ("The Free Trait Agreement") for being more extroverted when situations arise - like church fellowship times, in my experience.  Instead of feeling a) overwhelmed by the situation or b) guilty for not being the liveliest one in the crowd, decide what goal you will reach and then leave it at that.  For me it may be shaking the hands of two or three people instead of clinging to my pew during a meet-and-greet time.  It doesn't mean that I have to run around the sanctuary trying to greet everyone.

The author also mentioned the vital importance of creating a restorative niche in an introvert's daily routine.  This can be any length of time that is perfectly devoid of the social and sensory stimulus that can send an introvert into the Cliffs of Insanity or it can be a personal interest or activity that restores the energy of the individual.  I implemented this idea this week when I realized that I was always super-cranky when Steve went to work each afternoon.  I felt like running as fast as I could from the children and the house and all of the noise.  Why?  I was choosing to spend naptime running about cleaning and doing laundry and cooking.  I was not taking the time to get restored before the chaos resumed.  So, I have been taking a good thirty minutes to an hour out of each naptime to read, catch up on emails, or just sit in the quiet.  It has worked wonders, people.  Wonders.  I feel consistently energized to resume my tasks and I don't feel like tranquilizing the small people.

There you go: some brief, disjointed thoughts on Quiet and why I benefited from reading it.  I might note that while the book is secular, the author has Jewish roots so she is not against the idea of religion and does not assume an aggressive (or obnoxious) anti-faith position.  That was nice.  It was also interesting to think about what she was saying from a secular view and apply my Christian worldview.  It made me think, "How is God sanctifying my introverted personality?"  "How can I use the specific personality that He has given me to better serve His Body?"

(Also, check out this post for more interesting discussion on introverts in the church.  It's good stuff.)

So what do you think?

Harriet-isms, Church Membershipism, and thoughts on Introversion

My house looks like a bomb went off.  The bomb happened to closely resemble two little girls - one with wispy blond hair and a major attitude, and the other with auburn curls and a knack for rampaging.  While said bomb was being dropped, I watched powerlessly...being attached to another small person (or rather he being attached to me).  That is the current state of affairs in the Rodgers home, which is why I'm typing a blog post and ignoring the mess until the morning.  Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow!  You're only a daaaaaayyy aaaaawwwwwaaayyyyy!

Harriet is just about a month out from being two.  Two crazy years old! I can't believe it.  I can't believe it mostly because she continues to act like she's 35, or something.  True to her position as eldest girl, Harriet does a lot of Edmund monitoring.  Her frequently used phrase is "No teeth," meaning that Edmund can't participate in, consume, or like the same things that Harriet does because...well...he has no teeth.  That said, Harriet condescends to include him in whatever she is doing.  For example, she noticed that the bulgur I was cooking was very hot, and after confirming this fact with me she ran into the bedroom where E was sleeping, got right in his face and declared, "It's very hot, Edmund.  Got to blow."

One of Harriet's current delights is summer reading program at the library.  Once a week she attends the preschool age group and participates with appropriate gusto.  Harriet has also been sleeping in her very own bed for over a week now.  A-maz-ing.  We do have some rough nights, but out of the past ten days she has only ended up in our bed twice.  She is such a big girl!

In other news, we decided to become members of the church we have been attending regularly for the past year and a half.  We debated it for some time, but concluded that even though the church is an hour away, we really do enjoy worshiping with that bunch of folks and we want to express our commitment to that body of believers.  (And we discovered that our position on infant baptism does not effect our ability to become members.)  There are so many things we appreciate: the music, the integration of Scripture into every part of the service, the focus on building up the body instead of piling on more programs, the welcoming of young families.    Of course, once we made the decision and met with the pastors I had this huge sinking feeling...due primarily to recent experiences of major hurt from churches, spiritual abuse from former pastors, and bizarre behavior from those claiming to have a relationship with Christ.  My knee-jerk reaction to that is to pull back and distance myself...just slide out the back door as quickly as possible so that no relationships are developed and no one gets hurt.  But I don't think that's the right thing to do - I can't throw the baby out with the bath water.  And so here we are.  It's a good thing.

I just finished a really interesting book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.  Fascinating, fascinating read.  So many times I said, "Yes!  This is me!  This is why I do [insert typical Amelia behavior]."  I appreciated the author's choice to define introversion and extroversion based on toleration of social and sensory stimulation - which completely debunks the idea that all introverts are shy bookish people who don't like people.  Although the author wrote from a secular viewpoint and relied heavily on recent psychological research, her points were insightful, helpful, and well-written.  I feel as though I can integrate what I learned from that book with what I believe about God's sanctifying work in my life to see that my personality can be used to glorify Him.  I think I'm going to jot down some of the really useful/interesting things I learned and bore you with them.

I made a gigantic chocolate chip cookie tonight in a mini cast iron skillet.  Yep.  Pretty sure all of my hard work at Jazzercise is now completely undone.

A Happy Summer

Our fence is built and it is So Happy.  I knew that it would be a wonderful improvement to our home, but I didn't fully realize its positive impact until it was actually finished:

The dog can go outside whenever he wants off leash.  This means no more poop/urine in the house, which equals less stress and overall stink.  He also doesn't bark much at all because he has his own space to dominate and he can't see the "outside world."

Harriet can play and play and play with her wonderful new sand and water table, and when she gets tired of that she can draw on her new outdoor chalkboard.  And when she gets tired of that she can dig with her new kid-sized garden tools.  And when she gets tired of that she can push her baby in the baby stroller around the fence perimeter.  Get the picture?  She has hours of playtime waiting for her each day.  This results in longer nap times and less fuss at bed.  She is such a happy camper.

I can go out and hang up a load of laundry without being embarrassed about the poop stains on my cloth diapers that the sun will eventually bleach out.  I can putter around in my beautiful new garden beds with the baby plants and not be afraid of striking an unflattering gardening pose.  And I can do all of this without wondering where Harriet is and without constantly telling the dog to shut up.

So a big huge THANK YOU goes out to the in-laws and their willingness to come do this with us.  I don't think I'll ever be able to thank them enough.

Now that the fence is in place, I feel like summer has really begun.  During the fall and winter months (which generally equals lots of school and extra activities) I think, "Oh, I'll do [insert fun project] when it's summer."  I decided that I should make a list of all of the fun things I want to do this summer so I don't forget.  My first list looked good, but the more I considered it the more stressed out I felt.  Sew one "fun" item each week?  Read one non-fiction and one fiction book every two weeks?  Fill up the rest of the flower beds?


These ideas are all fine and good, and maybe if I were single without children or a job [think Amelia at sixteen] these plans would be feasible.  But right now, with the way life is, my summer was looking to be as busy and as stressful as the fall routine I was attempting to break from.  It's not going to be a relaxing, refreshing summer if I'm stressing about finishing a "fun" sewing project while ignoring Harriet's pleas to go "out-ide" and desperately trying to keep Edmund asleep for just a few more minutes.

Therefore, instead of making a list of summer goals, I have decided to simply label the next few months The Summer of Chill.  I know that these weeks of warm sunshine and swimming pools and summer reading programs and 4-H will get busy.  But I want my pervasive attitude to be one of calm...and not constantly looking for the next activity that will fill up my time and make me feel "productive."  I want to leave my calendar as open as possible, so that I can serve others without trying to find a spot to fit them in.  I just really want to chill.

So here's to a summer of hanging out in the backyard and going to summer reading program at the library...

...and reading fun books without a time crunch and drinking lots of iced coffee...

...and watching diapers get the poop stains bleached out and not worrying about the neighbors...

...and grilling and running through the sprinkler and watching the onions grow...

...and sewing when the mood strikes and helping the girls finish 4-H projects and running a couple of 5Ks reviving my spirit in the Word.

(And going to Florida in a month.  We mustn't forget that.)

What's on your summer agenda?

Jots and tittles

- Harriet has totally mastered the Falling Asleep By Herself trick.  She is seriously a pro.  We have fine-tuned the bedtime routine so that it is super consistent every night (bath, books, prayer, sleep) and she actually says, "Time to go night-night" and puts her head on her pillow.  I give her a big hug, leave the room, and within five minutes she's asleep.  It's a.mazing.  And I praise God for this breakthrough.

- Edmund goes to bed at nine-ish every night, so I have a few hours (hours, people) of unoccupied time.  My last school exam is tomorrow, so then my life will really feel...free.  Or something.  I'm hesitant to crowd the uninterrupted hours with too many activities because I know I need to seriously take a chill pill for a while.  But at the same time, I don't want to always waste it away on re-runs of Supernanny.  I need small happy projects that feed my creative bents without making a huge mess.  Pinterest, here I come....

- Two really cool acquisitions:
1) a 1951 Singer sewing machine, in a beautiful blond wood cabinet, with some pretty retro lines.  The whole shoot and match works like a dream, and there is even a little secret hide-y drawer that Steve discovered the other night - FULL of old notions and such.  Goosebumps!  The best part?  This machine came with a zig-zag attachment which is totally rockin' awesome.  Eleanor and I tried it out today for the first time and it worked beautifully.  I can now sew knits!  Ah!

2) a double jogging stroller.  This is a cool story, for I had been on the look-out for a double jogging stroller since I realized that having just a single jogging stroller increased the logistic factor when I wanted to go running.  I was made aware of a double jogging stroller on a buy/sell/trade sort of page, but it was too far away and too expensive.  Still, I felt like this might be my change to land a double stroller, so I decided to talk to Steve about it and see if we could somehow swing it.  That very afternoon, I received a text from a friend who was given a double jogging stroller but did not have use for it.  So she gave it to me!  Whee!  I tried it out with the kids this afternoon and, let me tell you, it is a nice stroller.  What a blessing!  In honor of all of this, Clara and I have decided to run our first 5K in July.  Jazzercise tells us that we could probably run a 5K right now, but I wouldn't mind having a few weeks to get used to the feel of a longer distance run.

- This is going to be a busy, family-filled week.  Steve's parents are driving out from California tomorrow, Clara's entire in-laws will be here on Friday, and there will be fence-building, and Mother's Day, and a lot of fun and games.  Hooray!

(I'm hoping to get a camera for Mother's Day.  Just a subtle hint....)

The Sleeping Saga

Yes, my dear friends, we have reached another chapter in the saga of Harriet's sleeping.

Lo and behold...falling asleep without Mommy.

Up until, oh, last night, Harriet's bedtime routine went something like this: take bath, get in bed with Mommy, read a few books, turn off lights, pray, roll around for hours singing and talking and being generally obnoxious.  If Harriet perceived that she was being ignored, she would up the ante and whisper "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy," five hundred times until she was acknowledged.

Something had to change.  I knew it for months.

And last night it did.

Last night I decided that it was time for yet another round of "tough love" with Harriet and her sleeping issues.  I got her settled into bed, prayed with her, gave her a big hug and kiss and then announced that I was going to leave the room.  I left the door open just a small crack and then listened to her wail for fifteen minutes.  It wasn't sad wailing or scared wailing.  It was "I'm not getting what I want and I'm mad" wailing.  Harriet is a stubborn chicky.  She knows that she can push my buttons and get me to give in.  But I remained stalwart, with the affirmation of my decision from Clara and Jen.  She went to sleep and still loved me when she woke up this morning.

Harriet has always been a beast about sleeping.  This blog is a record of our struggles from the time she was eight weeks old.  I am convinced that she was doing this all out of purely wicked spite...even when she was only a few months old.  She is so crazy stubborn about this and I know that this is just a another step in the process of training her to be a healthy sleeper.

Now we are on night #2 of the drama llama.  I hate it.  It makes me feel like the worst mother on the planet.  I feel like I'm losing another "connection" with her.  Like she's growing up way too fast.  But this is the sentimental side ruling out over reality.  I may dislike this temporary discomfort, but I dislike the horrendous frustration and resentment I feel towards her at 9:30pm every evening much more.

I remember how wretched I felt about night weaning her at 13 months...how when Steve came home from work he found us both sobbing on the bed.  It was really hard, but only for two nights.  Then it was wonderful!  And our relationship strengthened because Harriet knew that I was the Mommy and I was in charge.  I wasn't feeling angry with her every single evening.

I'm confident that this chapter of Harriet's sleeping saga will end positively.

(Meanwhile Edmund sleeps contentedly without assistance in his co-sleeper, just like I told him to do while he was in the womb.)

Birthdays and baths

This weekend was so fun.  We celebrated Steve's and Anne's birthdays early on Saturday evening, with a menu of fish tacos, fruit salad, triple-layer brownies (for Steve) and Clifford cake (for Anne).  They both hit the jackpot with gifts.  I love thinking of fun gifts for Steve that he will really use/appreciate...mostly because I know that behind his stalwart birthday exterior, he really does like it.  Birthdays are just fun, you know?

(Let it be understood that the following photos are stolen from my fabulous sister, Clara, because I am tired of having no photos on my blog posts.)

I got him Birkenstock sandals.

We got Annie a Clifford computer game, but Harriet thought she would like it, too.

Then on Sunday we went to church.  We attempted to eat lunch at the ever-popular Qdoba (when we drove past on our way to the library, Harriet hollered, "BEANS AND RICE!") with our pastor's family and a new guy from church.  However, the place was filled to bursting with Very Small Gymnasts and their Extended Families, so we had to sit at two different tables.  That makes conversing very difficult.  In any case, it was nice to at least make a serious start towards socializing.  Our evening was filled with practicing and playing for the church music night.

Edmund enjoyed the loud music.

When we got home, Steve and I stayed up much too late watching reruns of The Next Food Network Star on Hulu.  I don't know why, but we both like to have a show that we are "following" to resort to when we want to spend time together, but we are much too tired to converse/play a game.  I like Food Network Star because the competitors are expected to produce a show at the end of the competition - not just win a bunch of money, or something.  So the attitude is that these people are improving their culinary/camera skills so that they can be eventually making a constructive contribution to television.  I think that cuts out a lot of the whiny-ness of the program...although there are a lot of whiny people, as well as some really ridiculous people who make us laugh Very Hard.

Yesterday evening, while Steve and Levi played video games with other folks, Clara and I came back to my house to bathe the Three Musketeers.  We were slightly apprehensive about sticking them all in the tub, due to Mima's I-Hate-Baths-Therefore-I-Will-Scream tendencies, but we stuck Edmund's baby tub in the bath, filled the rest of the tub with water and plopped everybody into their respective locations.  All was fine and dandy.  The girls played and splashed.  Edmund relaxed in his private spa.  

And then, the water in Edmund's tub turned a decided shade of yellow.  

Yep, he was too relaxed.

Then it overflowed into the girls' bath.

Harriet and Jemima both started bellowing and screaming "YUCKY!" as we quickly managed to whisk everybody out of the short-lived bath experience.  Oh well.  Little brothers will be annoying and gross sometimes.  It's payback for having to be subjected to pokes in the eyes, pats on the head, and being forced to wear pink frilly hats.