Random Friday Thoughts

• Harriet was sick this past week and that's something I want to avoid in the future.  Even though I know that she is a child and will pick up all sorts of random germs, I still think that it will with worth the effort.  I also feel as though I have been elevated to the next level of motherhood.  Yeesh.  A sick H = A cranky H = Nursing all day = Needing Mom all day.  But I'm her mommy and that's what I'm for, right?  Thankfully she is back to her spunky, smiley self.
• This whole sickness fiasco (the after-hours clinic on Sunday, the allergic reaction to the medication on Tuesday, the tracking down a local doctor on Wednesday) makes me realize how difficult and tiring it is to be in a new place figuring out New Things.  If you're not in the know, you just don't know.  Could I have told you that there was a family practice clinic in town?  Nope.  And no website told me that either.  Thankfully I was able to get information from a couple at church about a good place to take H.  I am grateful that the doctor was pleasant (despite the parenting lecture I received) and now we are "in" with somebody.  Hopefully this will make the next illness less of an issue.  (Wait.  I'm avoiding illness.)
• I went clothes shopping yesterday.  We desperately need to spruce up our wardrobe since most of our clothes have been worn for 5+ years and are showing signs of extreme wear and tear.  They also make us look like we are in junior high (graphic tees and holey jeans, anyone?).  I went to Kohl's and bought lots of jeans for Steve, some basic shirts for me, and several outfits for the HarriEd.  I realized that I had never been shopping for her.  She has a lot of clothes from friends and relations, but I had never picked any of them out.  Our shopping venture yesterday opened another door in my love of dressing a little girl.  So, so, so fun!  The best outfit?  A onesie with a girl-y daschund on it and a ruffly pink mini skirt.  It kills me!
• I've been really, really, REALLY struggling with contentment here.  And fighting off depression.  Most days I feel like I'm swimming in a molasses swamp in every area of my life: house cleaning, life purpose, healthy eating, spiritual walk, marriage relationship, blah, blah, blah.  It's hard to get up in the morning knowing that I'm facing another day of feeling hateful, then guilty, then depressed.  To be quite honest, things aren't as peachy keen here as I imagined they would be.  We don't really know what we're doing...and now it seems like we're being steered down another path and in a different direction.  I don't know what it means and I can't make sense of it.  Urgle.  I feel horribly isolated and out of touch with the kind of life I want to live.  So we continue to pray for clarity and patience and contentment.  (And sometimes that gets old, too.)
• After that gut spill, I would also like to say that I am grateful for the Gs and that they are so generous with their time, washing machine, vehicles, listening ears, and support for us.  I'm also grateful for friends and family (mostly the latter)  who listen to my rants via telephone and continue to work through stuff with us.
• Steve is starting a temp job at a cabinet factory in addition to his Wally World job.  This will give him consistent hours (!!) and better pay, and maybe maybe maybe he will be able to slip out of the Wal-Mart position.  Or just work 12-16 hour days.
• I went to Zumba this morning (a regular class, not Zumba toning which I attend sometimes on Wednesday evening) and (shock!) had a good time.  Not only did I feel welcomed, but I enjoyed the dynamics of the class.  There were about 12 other ladies in the class and everyone was cheerful and enthusiastic.  The class is taught by a husband/wife team which was really cool because she demonstrated the more dance-y moves while he did a more athletic technique.  If I couldn't follow all of the elaborate hand motions, I just watched him.  They were both really solid teachers and knew their material well, so I felt confident about following their lead.  And it was real dancing - much closer to Jazzercise than some other classes I've attended.  
• We were going to do something fun and refreshing out and about as a couple today since Steve works for the next 7 days in a row, but the weather is goopy.  I guess that means we'll do something inside!