Harriet at One Month (and other things)

Harriet has spent the last week or so receiving distinguished guests from the Rodgers side of the fambly beginning with Jen on August 1, and now Grami Cami and Grumpy (?) on this past Sunday.  Having visitors has justifiably lowered blogging on my priority list.  That and the realization that I could use this blog an outlet for my blarggie-blarggie days and I really don't want to start doing that.  (Not that relatives and blarggie days are related [quite the contrary], but I think that new-mom tiredness has taken over my body and I have a much harder time being cheerful when thinking of things to write).

Enough unnecessary explanation of the lack of posts.  You don't care about that, anyway, because you want to see Harriet, right?  Of course right.

Don't you just want to eat her up?

Harriet likes the Sleepy Wrap, smiling at her favourite people, and being constantly on the move (remind me to sit still more often when I'm pregnant with #2, okay?).  She is bald on the top of her head but has quite the monastic fringe everywhere else.  She has three chins and very kissable cheeks and long gripping toes.  Oh, we love her!

I'm starting to think that after a week of experimentation, Harriet is still too small for her cloth diapers...or more specifically her plastic pants.  Her legs are getting chubbier but they still are too small to fill up the necessary space and prevent major leakage/blowouts.  Consequently, I am doing about three times my usual amount of laundry, thanks to the many diapers and soiled outfits.  I want to use cloth diapers, but we may just need to wait a bit longer.

It's been a busy morning for the little lady: breakfast, two huge poopy diapers, a subsequent bath, time in the bouncy chair, a few chapters from Frog and Toad, various Dvorak pieces, and now a nap.  I must take advantage of said nappage.

Harriet at Three Weeks

The Many Faces of Harriet Alice

Random Thursday Thoughts

Only two more nights left of the work week.  Hooray!  It all just seems to be creeping by, much to my consternation.  I keep hoping that I'll get somewhat accustomed to this schedule, even if I don't care for it.  That has yet to happen, but can keep hoping, right?  (The biggest problem is that I feel horribly guilty for not liking the situation because so many wives have husbands who are gone for long periods of time or have jerk husbands who don't want to be home and that isn't my situation at all.  But beating myself up about how I should be feeling doesn't help.  Blarggie, blarggie.)  My latest greatest idea is to have my Bible next to the bed and to just start reading when the mental gerbil wheel picks up speed.

The fun news: not only will we be enjoying the various diversions of the county fair next week, but Auntie Jen will be arriving for a several-day visit.

I'm reading Knowing God in the mornings.  The chapters are relatively short, which is great when I have a cat-nappy baby, but they certainly are not lacking in weighty, convicting thoughts.  It's nice to read something weighty and convicting and well-written when there are so many fluffy books full of spiritual pat answers out there.  Sometimes I just want to scream, "Let's be more grubby and real and less 'spiritual,' please!"  Two paragraphs jumped out at me this morning which are much too long to re-type but are well worth the read.  In summary, the first paragraph said that we can know a great deal about God but lack knowledge of Him, primarily through our devotion to theological pursuits and the resulting accolades we might receive from fellow believers.  The second paragraph detailed how often we can know about godliness without having the knowledge of God thanks to the quantity of spiritual "helps" available.  As Packer says, all of this is well and good, but what if I become so dependent on my theological knowledge or my "how-to-be-a-good-Christian" books that my knowledge of God through His word takes a back seat?  What if my day-to-day Christian walk is based solely on knowledge about God that I've stored up from past ministry and Bible school experiences?

The question is not whether we are good at theology, or 'balanced' (horrible, self-conscious word!) in our approach to problems of Christian living; the question is, can we say, simply, honestly, not because we feel that as evangelicals we ought to, but because it is a plain matter of fact, that we have known God, and that because we have known God the unpleasantness we have had, or the pleasantness we have not had, through being Christians does not matter to us?

 This leads to another mental bunny trail that I went down last night.  When I was in CEF or at Cornerstone, it seemed so easy and adventuresome to just pick up and go whenever and wherever God said to go.  I'm supposed to go be a missionary in Ireland?  Okedoke.  I'll do whatever it takes.  (Call me crazy, but there were seasons when martyrdom on the mission field [though probably not in Ireland] definitely had its appeal.)  Now Steve and I are exploring a new type of ministry opportunity to do post-seminary that honestly has never crossed my mind.  And the newness of it all honestly freaks me out.  Perhaps it's because I am getting more and more settled into the married/family way with all of its daily practicalities and I feel like clinging to it.  Anything "out there" feels too scary.  Or maybe it's because God feels so small right now...because my knowledge of Him - and the energy, boldness, and contentment that results - is so limited.  But His grace hasn't failed me yet.

All righty, I think I've had my daily allotment of navel-staring time.  It's time to go take a walk or go jump on the sleeping husband or something.

Bunco is tonight and I'm taking Harriet along for the party.  Whoop, whoop!

Harriet at Two Weeks (Pictures)

Having reached the ripe old age of two weeks and three days, Harriet Alice Rodgers has developed some preferences in her life.  If you should happen to visit her, this is what you would discover.

Harriet likes:

• Sleeping during the day.  While this perpetual cat napping does send the nighttime routine for a bit of a loop, having moments during the day for Mommy to do other things is helpful.  Harriet usually wakes up at 7am, plays around for a while, and then takes a solid nap from 11am-2pm.  Hooray for some semblance of a routine!

• Her car seat.  I was nervous about the whole riding in the car thing, especially since we drive an hour to church each week.  But she really seems to enjoy being in her car seat and usually drifts off to sleep once we start driving.  Steve and I ventured out on a date night the other evening, and Harriet slept during the 45 minute drive, the hour-long meal, and for 30 minutes of the ride home.  

• Her Auntie Clara.  She actually smiled for reals at Clara on Sunday.  So not fair.  Actually, Harriet enjoys all of her crazy relatives (and I enjoy it when Grandmom comes over to brisk her up and brisk her about during the Afternoon/Evening Crankies [see below]).
• Taking walks.  Maybe it has to do with the whole car seat thing, but Harriet really enjoys our jaunts out in the stroller, too.  On Saturday I needed something at a store a few blocks away, so I loaded her up in the stroller and away we went...until a big scary dog jumped out at us, barked violently and followed us up the sidewalk.  I didn't really feel like having my leg mauled off while I was pushing a stroller, so Steve nicely came and picked us up.  
• Eating.  I was reading an article about knowing what a baby needs by the variances in their grunts and cries.  Harriet just makes the I Need to Eat noise.

• Climbing up the Daddy Mountain.  She has really strong legs (could have told you that based on her last few weeks in the womb) and will push up Steve's body when she is laying on his stomach.  It's pretty silly, but her determination is admirable.

Harriet does not like:

• Baths.  This conclusion is based on her response to her first bath, which occurred yesterday afternoon. She was screaming bloody murder.  Steve was calmly and speedily administering the shampoo.  I was not looking.  And that is why we have no photographic evidence of the event.

• The afternoon and evening.  She turns into Little Miss Cranky Pants until exhaustion or bedtime hits.  This is rough because we parents are usually tired and cranky whenever this time of day rolls around, so we make for a pretty tense threesome.  Grandmom had the ingenuity to flop Little Miss Cranky Pants over on her tummy on the Bobby pillow and firmly pat her behind.  This calmed things down considerably.
• Having to wait.  Especially for her snacks.
• Sleeping in her co-sleeper.  Thankfully, she is fine sleeping next to me at night, and I'm used to it as well, so this hasn't been too much of a struggle.  I feel bad for having a $50 co-sleeper taking up space in the closet, though.

• Having anything on her legs or feet.  Most babies get a kick out of being all nicely swaddled up.  Harriet gets a kick out of kicking everything off.  This includes her socks and pants.  (Yes, I woke up one morning to discover that her pants were in another area of the bed.  I wonder how long it took for her to work those off during the night.)  She will definitely sleep more soundly with less stuff on her body.  (I am still wondering if she is my child....)

Harriet continues to get chubbier in the tummy-tum-tum.  You still can't see her eyebrows or eyelashes, even though her hair is dark.  Her eyes are a stormy blue, much to my delight.

She really is the Best Baby.

Contentment

For a few glorious days after Harriet's birth, we were perfectly content.  We weren't worried about the house, or other peoples' expectations, or going to seminary, or how dumb this town can be, or anything.  It was just us all holed up with nothing to think about but each other.

Now that things are settling back into the reality of work/baby care routines, that temporary contentment seems like it is slipping away.  At least from me.  

I look around me: if only the house were more clean, if only the dog didn't stink, if only the yard were mowed.  Harriet squeaks on my lap: if only she were older and had more of a playtime, if only there could be perfect equality in baby care responsibilities.  I ponder what will happen next: if only Steve had a day-shift, if only he could be doing something that he really enjoyed, if only we weren't so tired and could meet each other's needs more fully.

Then the guilt trip begins.  I'm not grateful for and satisfied in what I have now...will it make any difference if things change?  Won't there be cause for discontent and grumbling no matter what state I'm in?  It's more than just altered circumstance that I require.  It's a changed heart and no matter how much I strive and ache to change it, the bottom line is that I can't do it myself.

My Bible is staring at me from the coffee table.  Philippians 4:11-13 comes to mind:

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

I have read this passage a billion times.  But this time what sticks out is the word "learned."  Paul learned how to be content in all circumstances.  This wasn't some magical POOF!  Contentment!  It was a part of his sanctification by grace.  He learned contentment as he trusted in the One who strengthened him in all things.

Perhaps God is teaching me contentment by revealing my appalling discontent.  He is gently reminding me that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me: things like feeding a baby all day, being unable to go when I want to go, doing laundry and making the bed, living in the here and now and not pining after the next adventure (or at least mental diversion).  Praise the Lord for His grace.

Harriet Update

I know I'm biased, but I really do have a darling baby.  There is just something unbelievably wonderful about her wakey-wakey little eyes that are now able to focus (sort of) on mine and say, "Good morning!  What are we going to do today?"  Even if all she is going to do is sleep and eat and poop.

Sleeping in the co-sleeper has been a bit of a no-go this week.  She doesn't mind being placed in it for her naps, but nighttime is another story.  Maybe it's because I'm so exhausted that I don't really care if she sleeps in my arms all night.  She's only this little for so long, you know.  I would want to snuggle up with my mommy, too.

I'm thinking that Harriet must be on a bit of a growth spurt because she is eating practically all of the time when she is awake.  I feel kind of bad because every time I hand her off to Steve for some good daddy-daughter bonding time, she is content for about ten minutes and then starts wailing to be fed.  But again, she's only this little for so long, and pretty soon she'll be more eager to play for longer stretches.  Steve is the diaper/clothes changing king, though, and even though we'll probably never have a perfectly equal share in parenting responsibilities, I'm very grateful when he does just scoop her up and entertain her for a while.

Clara has been coming over in the mornings to keep an eye on the munchkin while I run about and take a shower, tidy the house, etc.  I'm trying to keep things simple and only plan on making the bed and keeping up with the dishes on a daily basis until Harriet settles into more of a naptime/playtime routine.  The frozen meals I made last month have been so helpful - I just stick one in the fridge to thaw (supposedly overnight, but I usually forget and end up thawing it for most of the day) and then Steve sticks it in the oven when he gets back from work.  So snappy.

In short, Harriet is so little and so lovely.

One Year Later

(I meant to post this yesterday, but a busy day of church, Wal-Mart, baby, nap, and evening Bible Study didn't really allow time for it.  Oh well.)

Happy Anniversary to Us!

(I love you, Mr. Wonderful.)