Restful Anticipation

Every day I wake up and think, "It could be today."  And every night I drift off to sleep wondering if this is the last night with just us two snuggled up.  

Rinse and repeat.

I'm really grateful that God provided all of the time necessary to get things done and that we aren't scrambling around at the last minute to set up furniture, or make frozen meals, or whatever.  However, in my quest to be hyper-prepared and organized I was unprepared for what to do when nothing else could be done.  Why can't I just know when Baby Rodgers will show up?  I need routine and predictability and the ability to stick everything on a schedule.  Or maybe I don't need it, I just want it.

Yesterday felt like I entered into stir-crazy panic mode: can I really just sit here and read a book?  Is that...okay?  Isn't something wrong with just sitting together and playing Civilization II on the computer for hours?  Surely there was a task somewhere to be done.  But try as I might, nothing could be found.  God is showing me that it is okay to just sit still and wait and enjoy these last few days of married life as we currently know it without the changes of a Baby or the stress of inconsistent work schedules.  There is a difference between taking grateful advantage of the time God provides for rest and being pensively idle.  I'm learning to relax and embrace restful anticipation.

This is my cheese-whiz of a sister, Little Annie Lou.  We were reading books at the library whilst Mom was sorting through the weekly chaos of summer reading program forms and explaining missing books.  Anne is very small for her age (she looks more like an 18-month old instead of a three-year-old), so when an older lady came over and started making googly-baby conversation with Anne, it was hard to keep from laughing.  "Oooh, you are such a cute little baby!" the lady oogled.  "What is your name?"  The question was in reference to Anne, but stated as if I would answer.  Anne looked straight at the lady and said "Anne" as clear as any three-year-old should.  The lady was surprised and I was amused.