Wednesday, November 10, 2010

 1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
 2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
         You understand my thought afar off.
 3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
         And are acquainted with all my ways.
 4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
         But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
 5 You have hedged me behind and before,
         And laid Your hand upon me.
 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
         It is high, I cannot attain it.
 7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?
 8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
 9 If I take the wings of the morning,
         And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
 10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
         And Your right hand shall hold me.
 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
         Even the night shall be light about me;
 12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
         But the night shines as the day;
         The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
 13 For You formed my inward parts;
         You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
         Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well.
 15 My frame was not hidden from You,
         When I was made in secret,
         And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them.
 17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
 18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You.
 19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
         Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
 20 For they speak against You wickedly;
         Your enemies take Your name in vain.
 21 Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
         And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
 22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
         I count them my enemies.
 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
         Try me, and know my anxieties;
 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
         And lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139, New King James Version)

The prospect of moving to a new state and a new lifestyle in about two months is both exciting and freaky.  Last night, it was mostly freaky.  As I lay in bed with the snoring HarriEd all snuggled up next to me, I wondered, "Are we making a mistake?  What if we can't get an apartment, or a job, or the ability to pay for school?"

Then a still, small voice said, Are you praying about this?

The truth is that we will never go away from God's presence, not even in Missouri.  We will never be out of his sovereign, guiding love.  He knows when we fill out apartment applications, and when we make a moving budget, and what jobs are available when we actually sally forth.  He has planned all our days, before we even existed...the days of baby care and seminary studies and whatever else he leads us to do. 

His works are marvelous: we have heard of how he provided for our families, when we were too small to realize what was going on.  We experienced how he provided for mission trips and for school and for a wedding, when we really didn't have any money.  We know how he provides for us day in and day out as we set up house and have a baby.  He will continue to provide faithfully.

Search me...know my heart...try me...know my anxieties.  Lead me in the way everlasting.


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