A Major Thing

Two days before our wedding, something amazing happened.  Steve had been working 12 hour night shifts and, without explanation, he was transferred to working 12 hour day shifts, four days a week.  This was a huge blessing which we have been enjoying for the past eight months, despite the fact that the work is very tiring and often feels meaningless.

There was a problem with this situation, however.  Steve was hired through a temp agency under the assumption that his work would be reviewed at regular intervals and that on the basis of a good review he would be hired.  He had his reviews, passed them brilliantly and still for months there was no indication of permanent employment.  This created the issues of having to buy our own health insurance as well as being unable to get a loan to buy our house.  We have always had the intention of moving from Broken Bow so that we could pursue further ministry training and opportunities.  Since the job situation was going nowhere, we were praying that a chance to move on would materialize.  We realized that we weren't stuck in a job, we weren't tied to mortgage payments and that, aside from Baby happenings in July, we were in a good position to move.  God brought things together in amazing ways so that we are beginning to make definite plans to move in the late fall to the St. Louis area where we will be able to intern with the Georgeffs and Steve can attend classes at Covenant Seminary.

Phew.  Things were going somewhere and looking up.  Then Steve got a phone call from his work: his supervisor had permission to hire him as a permanent employee but he would have to move to a 12 hour night shift.  Oh well, we thought.  Steve just won't take the job and will continue as a temp until we move.  However, after a discussion with his supervisor, it became obvious that it was either this job or no job.  Yeeps.  Since good employment in this area is just as difficult to come by as most every place in the United States right now, Steve took the job.

I know that I'm an emotional wreck this week, but this felt like a punch in the gut.  It's already challenging to manage the 12 hour day shifts, but our routine has evolved in such a way that we can avoid insanity.  Now we get to re-think everything and get used to being apart all day and all night (since I can't see how my current work routine would do well with my staying up all night and sleeping all day).  He doesn't want it to be this way...I don't want it to be this way.  But it appears that this is what we have to do.

There are some positive things about the change that I'm trying to focus on:

• A pay increase will mean that we can put more money into savings which may result in less financial stress when we move.
• Having insurance will free up another $200 to put into savings.
• We will be able to get the loan for our house which we believe will be a wise investment no matter when we move (the house is in great shape, is very reasonably priced, and has a fantastic rent or re-sale value).
• Once Steve is permanent he can bid on other job openings, including office positions (which require a degree and he is one of the few people who has one around there).  
• There is the potential that, due to internal changes within the company, Steve might be put on a less exhausting production line or even a swing shift.
• There will still be about two days in which we can live on a normal daytime schedule.
• It's not like this is going to last forever...maybe only a few months.  We can survive.

But I'm also concerned about some things based on our past experience with the 12 hour night shift:

• Steve was exhausted and sick most of the time.  It wasn't too fun to be engaged to a sneezing/coughing zombie for a month.  I dread being on entirely different sleep schedules and the possibility of getting sick again.  We have been healthy for a long time (and I praise God for that!) and this means that we will have to be super diligent about sleeping, eating well, etc.  I do not want to get sick.  And I don't want Steve to get sick.
• It's really hard to not spend time together.  We thrive on quality time and doing things together and for some reason, this situation sounds like a death knell to all of that.  Perhaps I'm over reacting.
• I do. not. want to stay home by myself at night.
• I wonder how all of this will effect our moving onward and upward plans...will it make things better?  More complicated?
• Steve is already drained by this job as it is.  We tend to be easily depressed individuals and the combination of two increasingly depressed people is not something that I look forward to.  Wow.

All of that said, I know that we can do nothing in this life on our own strength.  Every good gift and every challenging situation comes from a sovereign God who loves us dearly and has his best in mind for me and for Steve and our baby and our dog and for whatever he has designed for his good pleasure.  I'm praying that whatever transition we have to make will be smooth and that we will seek the Lord in it instead of trying to make things work on our own efforts (which equals martyrdom for me and down-in-the-dumps for Steve). 

I guess we are learning to roll with the punches.  Or to try to roll better with the punches.